Have you ever had sex while thinking about your grocery list or what you’re cooking for dinner? If you have, you are not alone! Research indicates that the quality of our sex lives improves when we become more mindful.
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer our sex life is to just be. Shifting our focus from doing and not feeling pressure to say anything or perform. Our presence alone can be transformational, especially when we bring our whole selves into our sex life and be fully present with our partner. This is one of the best gifts we can offer in a chaotic world where everything demands our time, thoughts, and attention.
One way to become present is by setting an intention for your sexual experience and then shifting this intention into the present moment by using "I have", "I am", or "I receive" statements.
Here is a list of examples-
- I have freedom
- I am safe
- I receive pleasure
- I am present
Setting simple intentions can set a tone, and it's the tone of sexual experiences which makes the most significant difference to our sex life, not sexual positions or fancy techniques! The same sexual position or type of sex can drastically change based on the tone of the sexual experience and how we are feeling. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the logistics of sex that the sexual tone is an afterthought.
The best sex is sex in which we are fully present with our partner and our bodies. Do what it takes to get into this headspace.
To talk openly with your partner about your sex life and other areas of your relationship, check out The Relationship Review. It is a game changer as it facilitates open conversations and helps you to see how your relationship is tracking through each season of life.